i still don’t get it. </3

i still can’t believe how fast things can happen.

one day you’re up, the next people come rushing past you.

rawr.

i thought i was ahead of my game. then i realized that i was already behind.

more than what was obvious before me.

lol.

i don’t know what to say.

this blog is as vague as a mirky muddy swamp water - you will not see through it, and it is meant to be that way.

days have passed, people have moved. and so should i.

i have to make a decision as to what i want to happen.

i now realize that i should cease from letting things come and be, and that i should not start to direct my path.

after exactly three months of wishful thinking and self-scolding, i have come to my mind.

i have decided to finally CLOSE THIS BOOK. not but’s, no what if’s. NOTHING MORE.

i have put myself in so much pain and regression that it was like punishment.

i cry for liberation! people can, and so will i.

it shouldn’t be that hard of a committment afterall

let all be for God’s glory.

No more hurtin, no more riskin’.

Play it cool, play it smartly and wisely.

maybe i’m just confusing myself.. or this is just a result of friggin idle-ness.

demn! i need to stand and do something. something productive, and be not like this.

~thanks for those kind and encouraging words. they brought me up, they sure did! :)